


Lift Up Your Heart

by bluebirdishere



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Claustrophobia, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 11:54:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30038301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluebirdishere/pseuds/bluebirdishere
Summary: Jon and Martin get stuck in a lift while trying to leave the institute. Martin has a panic attack. Jon tries to help.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 6
Kudos: 135





	Lift Up Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> In the episode with the Laura Popham statement (Lost Johns' Cave), Jon says that Martin is apparently claustrophobic. I figured that would only get worse after being trapped in his flat for two weeks, and thus, this fic was born.
> 
> CW for claustrophobia and panic attacks

Jon was starting to wish he hadn’t agreed to this.

There’s so many better things he could've been doing with his break, like trying to go through the backlog of statements, or doing some more research on Prentiss. But no, he was standing in the lift with Martin, having agreed to go to lunch.

Normally, Jon was content to eat in his office, where he could get work done without interruption. That morning, though, Martin had come in with tea and asked if Jon would be willing to join him, Tim, and Sasha for lunch at a nearby café. A few weeks ago, Jon would have turned him down without much thought, but now… Martin obviously hadn’t been doing well after being trapped by Prentiss, and Jon wasn’t a _total_ arse, so he said yes.

The creaking of the lift was making him rethink that decision.

It’s just him and Martin in the lift; they were going to meet Tim and Sasha, who’d been out of the building doing follow-up, at the café. Neither of them felt much like taking the stairs, so they were stuck taking the lift out of the archives. Jon was pretty sure that the lift, like practically everything else in the Institute, hadn’t been changed since it was installed sometime in the 1900’s. The odd groaning noises it was making gave off that impression, at least.

Judging from his fidgeting, Martin wasn’t a fan of the sounds either. He kept wringing his hands together and glancing nervously up at the ceiling.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Jon said, startling Martin.

“I’m sorry?”

“The lift,” he clarified. “It’s old, yes, but it still works alright. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Jon suspected he was trying to convince himself of that more than he was Martin. Not that Martin looked particularly reassured by the statement either; he raised a skeptical eyebrow before shaking his head. “Yeah, you’re probably right, I’m probably worrying over nothing-“

And then the lift lurched to a stop.

“…Of course, I’ve been wrong before,” Jon muttered. He pushed the emergency call button on the control panel. After a brief conversation with the worker on the other end, Jon was assured that the local fire brigade had been informed of their predicament, and would be by to free them before too long. Jon thanked the worker and hung up, then turned back to Martin.

“Someone should be here soon to let us out, but until then, it seems we’re stuck-“ Jon stopped as he got a good look at his coworker.

Martin had gone from somewhat nervous to complete panic. His eyes were frantic and he’d turned even paler than usual. His breathing was also quick, much quicker than it ought to have been.

“Martin?” Jon asked. “What’s wrong?”

Martin startled again. He turned to Jon, clearly forcing a smile. “N-nothing! I-I’m just, you know, a bit, er, claustrophobic? Not a fan of being, uh…” He swallowed. “…trapped.”

…Oh. Right, Martin had mentioned being claustrophobic when Jon asked him to look into the Popham statement, and his fear of being trapped likely worsened after being cornered in his flat for two weeks. Being stuck in a lift was probably an absolute nightmare for him.

Jon wasn’t the best at dealing with these sort of problems, but he was reasonably certain he couldn’t just stand there while Martin was panicking. There wasn’t really much he could do, though; they were stuck there until the fire brigade arrived.

Maybe… maybe he should try to help Martin calm down? Jon was, admittedly, not great at comforting people, but he did have experience being talked down from panic attacks by other people. _Let’s see, how did Georgie do it…?_

“Okay,” he said. “Er… here, why don’t you sit down…”

He gestured at the wall and Martin nodded, shakily sitting down against it. There, that was a good first step, right? Martin was still hyperventilating, though; they’d have to get that under control.

Jon sat down against the wall, next to Martin. “Alright, you’re doing fine so far. Try taking a deep breath?”

Martin shook his head wordlessly. Tears began to well up in his eyes, and he brought up a hand to wipe them away.

“You can do it,” Jon told him. “Try again.”

Martin let out a choked sob and shook his head again.

Well, talking him through the breathing exercise was clearly not going to work. But what else could Jon do?

As he pondered the situation, Jon watched Martin continue to wipe away tears. He thought back to university, how Georgie would hold him and console him whenever he was having a particularly rough day. It would be too much to try and do the same with Martin, though. That would surely be a violation of workplace ethics and besides, he and Martin weren’t close. It would just be strange and uncomfortable for both parties.

Still… Jon didn’t really have any better options. He took a final look at Martin’s face, saw the terror and agony that was present, and made a decision as he felt his heart clench. _Fuck it_.

He reached out and, with both hands, gently took hold of Martin’s hand. Martin turned to look at him, brows furrowed in shock and confusion.

“Martin,” Jon said gently. “Look at me. You’re safe. We’re in the institute, someone is coming to get us, and you’re safe. I promise that you’re safe. Alright?”

Martin nodded wordlessly. Tears were still silently flowing down his face, but his breathing had slowed a bit, which Jon considered a success.

“Good,” Jon replied with a small smile. “Now, one more time: try taking a deep breath?”

This time, Martin managed to take in a shaky breath.

Jon nodded in encouragement. “Another.”

Martin took in a second breath, then a third, and continued until his breathing was mostly stable. By now, the tears had mostly stopped, and some of the color had returned to his face.

“Better?” Jon asked.

Martin nodded and reached into his trouser pocket with his free hand. He fished out his phone, unlocked it, and began typing. After a few minutes, he handed the phone over to Jon, who took it and began reading.

_I probably won’t be able to talk for a bit, but I wanted to say thank you for helping me out back there :) I know it’s kind of a silly thing to get so worked up over, so I really appreciate you being nice about it!_

For some reason, the message made heat rise in Jon’s cheeks. Embarrassment, maybe? Discomfort at sharing such a vulnerable situation with someone he didn’t even know that well? _Yes, that’s probably it_ , he decided.

“It’s not silly,” he replied. “It’s perfectly reasonable to be afraid of being trapped after everything you’ve been through.”

Martin’s cheeks grew red and he quickly looked away, a soft smile on his face.

That was… odd. Before Jon could think about it, though, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw a message from Tim, asking where he and Martin were. Jon went to type a response, only to realize that he was still holding hands with Martin.

“Ah… sorry,” he said as he let go of Martin’s hand. “You probably want this back.”

Martin looked disappointed, but didn’t say anything as he took his hand back. To his surprise, Jon found himself sharing that disappointment, though he tried to brush it aside as he sent Tim a quick text detailing what happened. He assured Tim that they were fine and would be getting out soon, then put his phone away.

…His hands felt colder now. Jon honestly hadn’t expected to _like_ holding hands with Martin; it had just been a small attempt at comfort and nothing else. He didn’t think he’d be missing the feeling of Martin’s hand in his, but now he desperately wanted to capture that feeling again.

He glanced down at Martin’s right hand, which was laying on the floor next to its owner. It would be so easy to just reach over and take it. He couldn’t, though, not this time. The first time, he’d had the excuse of wanting to provide assurance. If he tried it a second time, it would just be weird.

Why did he even want to hold Martin’s hand so badly, anyway? Sure, Martin was warm and caring, and irritatingly kind, but that didn’t explain why-

…

… _Shit_.

Jon suddenly understood why he wanted to hold Martin’s hand.

How on earth did he manage to develop a crush on _Martin Blackwood_ , of all people? And how had he not figured it out before now? Granted, he didn’t have a stellar track record when it came to understanding or dealing with his feelings, but surely at some point he would have _noticed_ -

“Jon?”

The wobbly voice startled Jon out of his thought process. He looked up to meet Martin’s eyes.

“Hm?”

“Everything alright?”

“Yes, yes, everything’s fine,” Jon replied, looking away quickly. He hoped the heat in his cheeks wasn’t evident on his face.

Martin didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t argue further, much to Jon’s relief.

For a few minutes, the lift was completely silent. Just as Jon was wondering how long it would take the fire brigade to show up, he felt a hand gently take his and interlock their fingers.

It was funny, really – Martin’s hands were a good bit larger than Jon’s were, and yet they seemed to perfectly fit together.

“Is this… okay?” Martin asked, unsure.

In lieu of a verbal response, Jon gave Martin’s hand a brief squeeze. Martin instantly squeezed back, and Jon felt his lips twitch up in a smile.

They’d already been waiting this long. A few more minutes wouldn’t hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry, they do get out of there... eventually.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are very much appreciated!


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